Frerard-An angel without wings
by TheAlmostGoths
Summary: Gerard is an angel, but as he came out to his dad, he no longer has his wings. Meanwhile, Frank is in a bad situation. But when they meet it takes a long time and many bumps for all the truths to be out in the open... Contains sexual scenes and mild rape sugestions. Also suicidal thoughts that could be prompting. Enjoy reading! HELena WAY ieRO
1. 1

**Hi guys, this is my first fanfiction and I'm slightly nervous. It's going to be a long one so sorry if you hate them like that but I do and I wanted to put a lot in this story! Please enjoy as much as you can!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the members of My Chemical Romance because if I did, this would not be a story, but a film!**

**Go ahead!**

**NEoN MURdeR-XOX**

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><p><strong>Franks p.o.v<strong>

All the pain slowly flooded out of me as the blade touched my skin. It felt so good. It relived the pain better than any of the drugs or alcohol I'd tried. But I kept using that stuff anyway just so I remained within my group. None of them were my friends but it kept me safer from the bullies calling me a fag and beating me till I'm unconscious. However my 'group' didn't help all too well as they would beat me as bad as the bullies. They were alright though, when they were drunk. But I couldn't risk being seen as a loner too so for my image I stick with them.

A few drops of blood drip on to my floor and stain the black carpet. I've done this for so long now that there's brownish spots all over the ground I could tell a stranger it's the design. Not like anyone will come in here though, not even my own mother. She's an alcoholic, and a really bad one like constantly, with serious problems. She's incredibly abusive to me and just generally hates me. It's her who's made me do this since I was 12, a year after my dad… That's why she became an alcoholic and that's why I self-harm. It makes it just a bit more bearable.

I was currently home alone so there was no sounds of breaking bottles or screaming or my mother yelling at me such compliments as "fag" or "mistake". I stayed in my room for my house was horrible. Some would say my room seemed like a mess with the curtains drawn 24/7, misfits CDs scattered around my desk along with my eyeliner, some blood stained tissues covering my blade, and everything else just not neat. The only thing in my room that was perfect is the guitar in my corner. She remains perfectly white with the shinning letters spelling pansy in perfect condition along her edge. In truth she's my prize possession. But outside my door were bigger blood stains then in here along with much broken glass, garbage, sick and other crap (that could be literal I don't really care).

**Gerard's p.o.v**

Under the jacket the large scars on my back were bleeding again. It had been a month now and there was no sign of them healing much. My wings were removed by my father just before he kicked me out. I'm not exactly sure what I'd done but I think it had something to do with me coming out to him. Although he's (supposed to be) a guardian angel, for many generations our family fitted in with the surrounding 'normals' as he called them. I guess this made him a very human like man, a very homophobic man as well. But I never expected him to_ rip the wings from my back_! The pain had been unbearable and two days later he told me to pack my stuff and leave. I was homeless for a while. Despite losing my wings I was still considered a guardian angel as I still held all the other 'powers' like extreme agility and mind reading, no more like mind _talking_ therefore I wasn't exactly living on the streets as on the rooftops.

I had got myself a job at my favourite comic store and it was pretty easy considering I was a regular so I already got on with the owner, I had an enormous knowledge of all the comic books and ,as people would tell me, I had a naturally stunning charisma and charm but that's just another guardian angel thing. I was enjoying but still didn't have enough money for the house I was planning for. No I had roughly a couple more months to go before then but I was doing okay. Especially since I didn't need much food.


	2. Sleep

**Franks p.o.v**

I woke up at around 1:00 am as my mum stumbled through the door hitting many of the bottles of the floor and cursing loudly. I sighed. There was no real surprise that she was drunk again, I mean, I wouldn't expect anything else with that woman. I just knew it meant no more sleep for the night. She was storming around downstairs complaining about something UN audible. All I could here was an odd curse or trip until I heard a loud bellow of my name.

"FRAAANK!"I knew better than to pretend I was still asleep as she just came up in to my room and hit me with a broken bottle until she was satisfied. I crawled out of bed and exited my room. On my way downstairs I stood on a lot of glass and rubbish as I also knew better than to turn on the light when she's always hung over, high or drunk. That never bothered me too much as I like the darkness it was just the fact that I couldn't see anything on the ground.

"Yeah mom," I mumbled to her when I reached where she was in the kitchen. She slapped me hard across the face and I could see from the little light from the window that she was fuming.

"What the FUCK have you done with my booze you little piece of SHIT!" she growled with the expectation of shrieking at the curses. I looked to her side on the table and saw an unopened wine bottle broken with wine also going down her side from where her hand was soaked in the stuff. I realized there were also bits of glass and blood covering her hand. I realized she had been so drunk in her effort to get worse she broke the drink she was after. I realized a lot. I had spent to long thinking about all this and wandering how to reply that she felt I was ignoring her so I got another smack to the face but unfortunately it was with the glass hand. She didn't seem to flinch when the glass shards dug deeper in to her now clenched fist. But on the other hand I could feel the deep gashes in my face began to ooze blood.

As she began to spit venomous words at me I legged it to my room and locked the door behind me. I could hear her trying to make it up the stairs.

"FRANK IERO YOU ERR GOINN TO PEEYY!" Her words were getting slurred which meant she'd pass out soon. I walked to my bed and crawled in, beginning a quiet sob. I didn't expect anyone to come, ever. And I knew they wouldn't. But soon after my mother stopped struggling, shouting or screaming I was able to cry myself in to bliss full sleep.

I woke up the next morning with a banging headache. It took me a while to remember the occurrences of the previous night. I sat up and there was a pool of blood on my pillow. I could hear my mother snoring on the stairs and the time read 11:17 am. I decided against going straight to school and instead went to the bathroom to check my wounds from the previous night. Deep gashes were striped across my face and blood stained my cheek and forehead. A tear rolled down from my eye and I wiped that, along with my blood, from my face. Once I was finished I headed carefully down to the kitchen, being careful not to wake my mom who was sprawled across the stairs still. I quickly made my breakfast/lunch that wasn't much, then I went and got dressed applying a quick bit of eyeliner. I left for school and would arrive just after lunch for the afternoon.

**Gerard's p.o.v**

Whilst speaking to my boss about my hopes for my house, he told me how he feared it would take me a while to save up and suggested maybe I go back to school to finish my exams so I could get a better job if necessary. Whilst sleeping on the mat I had found, I considered my bosses words. I hated school. Despite being an angel I still had enemies. The bullies at school who were just complete ass holes claimed they didn't like the fact I was too perfect or the girls all seemed to have massive crushes on me. I would get beat up worse than any of the other kids as it took a lot to hurt me and they weren't satisfied until they had. They didn't even know about me liking guys and I don't think I could manage if they did.

Eventually I went and talked to the head teacher of Belleville high school and got a placement put in. I was starting in a week and had mixed emotions. I feared the pain I would once again be put through and I knew it would be worse with the still fresh wounds on my back. But I was nervous about the exams as well as the fact that I would be much older than any of the others as I was 19 but I had dropped out when I was 16 so I never took my exams. I'll be in the same classes as the seventeen-ish year olds. I didn't mind this so much as I didn't view it as a possible problem.


	3. Blood

**Franks p.o.v**

I walked in to school casually so as not to be noticed by the secretary staff. They just assumed I had been given permission to go out for lunch as they didn't care much. I walked past the bike sheds and behind the large tree where me and the guys usually met up. Sure enough Bert, Ray and Jason were all there.

"Hey guys." I mumbled whilst lighting a cigarette. Suddenly I was slammed in to the main tree a hand gripping my throat. The fag fell from my mouth as Bert growled at me.

"So where's my drugs frank?" He hissed.

"W-Wha-wh-what?" I managed to stutter whilst choking under Bert's grip as he raised me from the ground. Bert was the leader I guess you could say, of our group. He towered above me so he wasn't struggling at lifting my small body from the ground. We always took it in turns to bring whatever drugs we could get hold of and I guess today was my turn. I had completely forgotten due to the gashes down my face and my mother's behaviour.

"Don't you act dumb you little piece of shit!" He threw a blow to my stomach and I coughed hard in his face by accident. He punched my face twice and I spat blood.

"What's these? "He said sarcastically pointing at my still fresh wounds my mother left me, "Are you cutting that much or is it your mother who hates you again?" A wicked smile spread across his face as he clenched at my throat tighter.

"Pleas….stop..." I choked out.

"Gladly! "He grinned again, dropped me to the ground and began beating me.

Eventually the three left after getting a good kick at me. I can't remember much after wards but feeling the blood seep through my jacked then darkness.

**Gerard's p.o.v**

Soon I was at school once again. And as I walked through the gates back in to Belleville I was scared as my memories of being beaten up haunted me. My head began to hurt as it had been a while since I'd been surrounded by this many people. I can hear all their thoughts however it didn't take me long to get my head under control. It was selective now. I knew my bullies from school would no longer be here but I still feared the ones I knew were always here and always inescapable. Wondering over near to an empty bench I listened to the girl's conversation beside me. They were talking about some girl that had betrayed them in some way and how she was a bitch or something or other. It always entertained me as there was about 5 of them and I could hear their thoughts as well as their speaking. Girl 1 was thinking how she hated this girl (I didn't really pay attention to the names) and was offended she had done such a thing. Girl 2 agreed with girl 1. Girl 3 thought girl 1 deserved it. Girl 4 had secretly helped in all of this and was hoping not to be caught. And girl 5s thoughts had changed from how stupid the situation was to a boy with red midlength hair sitting on a bench…

My head shot up as their talking neared me and more of their thoughts began to think of me sat her on this bench. A lot of the thoughts were compliments like he's hot or is he new but I heard a couple, eww fag.

"Hey are you new here?" A high-pitched girly voice asked. I looked up to see she had horribly bleach blonde hair high up in a ponytail and way too much Barbie makeup on.

"Yeah kinda…" I muttered.

"Well cool I'm Stacy and this is jenny, Louise, Jeanette and Brady. We'll help you out as we do with all the super cute guys who arrive here!" They all gave this horrible sounding giggle and I could tell these were the girls who I instantly hated.

"Nah I'm alright. I'm sure I remember it from before." I said whilst standing. They looked a little confused but I walked away towards the building before any else of them could ask any more questions or 'giggle' again.

**Franks p.o.v**

It had been a week since Bert left me there to bleed to death. I had to go get stitches and didn't go home till evening. But now it had been a week and I got Bert the drugs I 'owed him' so we were back to as normal as we were before. We lent against our usual tree smoking when some new looking kid walked in through the gates. He had cherry red hair just past his ears and looked gorgeous. The other guys hadn't seemed to notice him yet but I was staring at him almost not blinking.

He sat at a bench on his own and looked down at his sketch book. It wasn't long before he was noticed by the cheerleaders, Stacey, jenny and some others whose names I can't remember. They were missing one of them and I assume it's because they did something again. I only know Stacey and jenny because I dated Stacey a few years back and she and jenny are closer to each other than any of the other cheerleaders. We broke up because she said she wanted a normal boyfriend not some 'sad emo freak' so she dumped me. I didn't care much as I was never too in to her but I still remember her name.

All the cheerleaders were crowding the new guy and I knew what they were saying about. They were probably telling him how cute he was and that they could help him around the school. I wouldn't blame them though as he was gorgeous. I was suddenly thrown to the ground shocked. Bert was towering over me shouting.

"WHAT YOU IGNORING ME FOR!" I stumbled up to my regular height and whispered in fear.

"Sorry I was daydreaming…"

"Yeah you little bitch, daydreaming sure. You know what, fuck you frank you're out we're sick of you." And with that he punched me and pushed me on to the ground and away from our spot.

I was still hurt from the last time so I lay there for a bit breathing heavy. I turned my head to the side and saw the new guy walking in to the school building, alone, and the group of cheerleaders stood behind him shocked. His hair was slightly over his eyes and he looked so amazing! Like really good. He turned to look at me just before he entered the building he turned and looked straight in to my eyes had a look of sympathy and then smiled a genuine smile. Not a wicked smile but one of I can be your friend. And so I shut my eyes, and I smiled back.


	4. Hi

**Gerard's p.o.v**

Just before I entered the doors of school I turned my head slightly as I felt someone's gaze on me. When I looked to the other side of the courtyard I saw a small looking boy lying on the ground in a clearly large amount of pain. He had deep gashes down his face and blood over his small frail body. I felt immediate hatred at who ever could do that to such a beautiful looking human. I went in to his mind but didn't say anything just listened. He was thinking about me. He thought I looked amazing. Really good he said. I had heard it a hundred times before but coming from this boy who I didn't know felt special. I knew I couldn't keep staring for too long but I knew that I liked him. So I smiled at him and walked in to the school building.

I entered my form room early but I got tired of the cheerleaders crowding me so I decided to come in early. I didn't stop thinking about that kid. I forgot to look for his name because I was too busy mesmerised by his thoughts of me. I pulled out my sketch book again and began to draw this guy. Most of my sketches are of angels but not this one. I began and got so in to it that I didn't hear the door to the room open. Nor did I see the boy now stood in the room with me.

**Franks p.o.v**

I got up from the ground and winced in pain. I knew it hadn't begun yet but I decided to go and wait in my form room. It would just be quieter so I headed in to the school.

I was astounded when I saw the boy from before. He was deep in to his sketching again and sat in my seat. I froze on the spot when I saw him but he didn't seem to notice anyone had come in. I decided to walk towards him quietly so as not to interrupt him since he seemed so in to it. My seat was near the back so it took me a little while to get there .but when I did he still didn't notice me there. I looked over his shoulder at his sketch and saw it was a person standing on a cliff edge with faint wings sprouting from his back. I thought he resembled me a bit but thought it was just my imagination.

I felt as if I liked this guy for some reason but I didn't know why. I mean I knew I was bi as I learnt a while ago when my dad was still alive. I came out to him as I was gay but he told me I was not gay it was a faze and at the most I was slightly bi. I didn't believe him as I had never felt anything for a girl and wasn't at the time but when he passed away I felt I needed to try with a girl and that's the only reason I was with Stacey. But in truth I never felt anything for her really so sometimes I question why I call myself bi but then I feel like I'm disappointing my dad. I knew he wasn't very happy with having a gay son. But I'm beginning to feel like I'm not really bi and I should just accept that my dad would have disowned me. And I think I have feelings for this guy but it's probably too soon to say.

He suddenly stopped drawing and seemed to tense up. I took a step back and he stood up pretty quickly and I began to panic. He knew I was here but he wasn't turning around. What was he doing? Was he going to hit me? He suddenly spun round quickly and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm not going to hurt you frank." He said calmly. His hug was warm and comforting and I wanted to stay there for a while and hold him tight but hang on, how did he know my name? I pulled away and looked at him questioningly.

"Oh um sorry I uh heard it from the girls outside." He said nervously. I relaxed a bit and decided not to ask about how he knew I thought he was going to hurt me. It was an awkward silence for a while and then I remembered his sketch.

"Uhh do you mind if I ask what you were drawing?"

"Yes." I was a bit shocked at his bluntness and it took me back a little.

"Hey look I'm sorry it's just my drawings are very personal." He was awkward now. Oh great I made him awkward. Why do I screw everything up?

"Nah it's cool. Sorry I asked. Didn't mean to offend you."

"Oh you didn't its cool sorry I snapped." The awkward silence fell upon us again. Oh god why was I so awkward with this guy did I like him this much. He laughed at something and i clearly didn't get the joke.

"Uh excuse me? The joke?" I said getting quite annoyed now.

"Uhh sorry I just thought you don't even know my name, I'm Gerard." He held out his hand to me and I took it in my hand. There was a spark between us and we both pulled our hands back.

**Gerard's p.o.v**

It was going horribly so far however me being able to hear his thoughts gave me some hope. He was so cute, beating himself up for being awkward. I had to learn to not let slip the stuff I heard in people's heads as I let slip a few times whilst talking to frank but I couldn't let him think I would ever hurt him. It hurt me to hear him think that about me. But he was so cute and the best part was he was Bi or gay! I only heard him thinking about my drawing and then on when he talked about his dad and being gay. He had a crush on me and judging by the butterflies I got I think I had a crush on him too.

There was a terrible silence between us and I felt kinda guilty for how I snapped at him about my drawing but in truth I was just so embarrassed he had even seen it. But now I could see him up close I could definitely improve my drawing of him. It had accidentally become an angel however the wings were faint as if a metaphor for him not being a literal angel but an angel in my eyes none the less. He was incredibly beautiful though with his black flopping fringe and spiked up at the back. He also had some red hair towards the back and he looked awesome. He had a nose and lip ring and wore black and red eyeshadow with X's covering over his eyes. I couldn't stop myself from staring in to his hazel eyes and didn't realise I was staring until he spoke.

"Hey...ummm... Can I see your timetable?"

"Oh yeah sure." I got my timetable out and handed it to him.

"Cool we got all the same lessons together." He looked up and smiled and my heart melt. I could hear in his head he was relaxing.

"Want to go about together?" He was asking me to hang out with him! I grinned widely.

"Yeah awesome!" And then the bell went. I returned to my chair.

"Hey um, Gee? That's kinda my chair."

"Oh yeah sorry." _Gee_? I moved my stuff.

"You can sit beside me if you want I mean no body sits there unless forced." He chuckled adorably.

"Alright then that's great." And I smiled back sitting beside him.


	5. Arguments

**Frank's p.o.v**

I definitely wouldn't say I had a crush on him. I just thought he was cute like a lot of the other girls were thinking. And that's normal to think if you're attracted to that sex then you can agree someone's cute without crushing on them. Why was I thinking this over so much? He sat beside me drawing on a different sketch than the one I saw and I had a feeling it had something to do with me seeing it. Probably not though as there was no question he would be straight, looking like that... I had to quickly stop my eyes from the wandering the path they were on over Gerard's body. I could never deny how genuinely amazing he looked. He was like an angel.

He stopped sketching for a second and froze. I looked away before he saw me staring at him. Our maths teacher was rambling on about some pythagaroms theory or something. Me and Gerard both agreed about how we hated maths and I liked that. I could feel instantly that we could be really close friends and I hoped we would be good friends. I just hope he won't go like everyone else.

Maths eventually finished and me and Gerard legged it out the door. We joked about a bit about our stupid maths teacher and just aimlessly walked around the courtyard. I saw Bert and the others giving funny looks but their looks changed when they saw Gerard walking beside me smiling. His smile was infections and I couldn't stop the stupid grin spreading across my face.

"Hey Gerard?"

"Yeah Frank?"

"Want to bunk today?"

"Sure what you want to do?"

"I don't know, Park?"

"Yeah sure cool." So we walked straight through the open gates and headed for the park a few blocks away.

**Gerard's p.o.v**

I think me and Frank were friends now. I liked him, a lot. And he was so cute, constantly debating in his head whether he had a crush on me or not. I definitely had one on him. But I was a lot surer of my emotions than humans and could know quicker. I was constantly analysing each feature on his person every time he wasn't looking. And I obviously knew each time I looked away he was doing the same. He wouldn't know I was but he suspected it so I tried to stop but it was hard. I was constantly learning so much about him but it never really helped with the fact that some things, and they don't realise it, humans can lock away and I can't see or hear about it. Most of these things were secrets and such but with frank I could hardly ever find anything about his body. I know that's strange that I'm looking but as I said I know I want to be with frank and having a crush, I can't resist my urges.

I knew things like his mum the abusive alchy, his dad and the murder, his group of 'friends' and the events this morning, the now healing wounds on his head and the events that scar him both physically and emotionally. I had already decided on my new sleeping arrangements as I will make it my commitment to protect frank. I guess I really am a guardian angel after all, just without my wings…

It was Frank's idea to bunk and I was quite fond of it seeing as I really wasn't up for P.E and DEFINITELY wasn't up to my still fresh wounds being visible to these people. We were going to the park and on the way Frank was asking me questions about myself. He asked regular things you ask when you meet a new person, Parents, big events from throughout your life, last school, hopes, aspirations. I asked some questions too as to be normal even though I already knew all the answers. He didn't ever lie either. But then again I didn't ask too many extremely personal questions so I don't know why he would lie. But the questions I did ask were ones I knew would give us stuff in common like about bands as I knew we both like the misfits and bands similar.

When we got to the park we just goofed around a bit and bonded in to friends. He had definitely said we were proper friends now and made a joked about no going back now. I was so happy to have already met frank. Every time he laughed it burned in my heart. And every time he got all embarrassed it was the cutest. And every time he felt down because his mum or dad or friends were mentioned, it was agony not to full on hug him till he broke. I mean after all he is so small. But I could already see he was strong for his height as he threw heavy stones and pushed things strong for a human of his height. The way I pretended to throw stuff, meant he thought he was stronger than me and he got this huge grin and all giddy in his head about it.

I suggested going back to his house at one point and it didn't go down to well.

"Hey Frank this is getting old. We've been here for 2 hours. Anywhere else?"

"I don't know where else."

"Why not like just back to your house or something? Then we could like eat and everything."

"No Gerard." His voice turned stern and cold. So I got up to stand next to him. I knew what he was scared of and luckily he had already mentioned his mum to me so I didn't have to pretend this time.

"Hey don't worry about your mum. I don't care if she acts in anyway and if she touches you I'll stop her." I smiled placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook it off angrily as a mental image of his house came to his head. Obviously I wasn't supposed to see it but I could understand now more why he didn't want me there. It was horrible. Glass and mess and blood and rubbish and sick and crap and everything. I tried not to stumble back at how it had shocked me because Frank couldn't know I had seen it. He turned to look me straight in the eye.

"No Gerard. And besides why not your house?"

"I told you Frank I was kicked out a few months ago."

"Yeah but you said you were living with your brother Mikey." It's true that I had told him this as I knew it wouldn't have been a good idea to say I was living on the streets. Truth is, Mikey ran away a couple of years ago.

"We can't go there."

"Why not?"

"I can't explain that."

"So you expect me to let you in my house but you know the reason why I can't. But you won't let me see where you live and won't even give me a reason?" He was incredibly mad. I looked down and sighed. I should have never brought this up.

"I'm sorry Frank. Let's just go for a walk or something."

"No. Do you know what, fuck you Gerard. You're not that great at being a friend if you just have double standards all the time and are inconsiderate of why you can't come to my house!" He put his hood up and turned out the park.

"Frank! Wait, I'm sorry!" I shouted after him.

"No leave me alone from now on." And he turned the corner and was gone.

**Frank's p.o.v**

I went straight home making sure Gerard didn't try to follow me. At every corner I'd turn and look, but nothing was there. I still felt as if I was being followed but worked to ignore my paranoia. My hood was up and my head was down. I felt a tear drip down my face and wiped it away. Soon I was home and I opened the door to my crappy ass house. My mum had gone and I was luckily alone. I walked up the stairs to the only place in this house I actually called home. As the door to my room was opened I realised the tears I was holding back. I felt as if I had been so horrible to Gerard but I couldn't let him see my house like this and I was annoyed at how he acted. But I really liked him and I knew it.

I lied on my bed crying for a while until I had calmed down. What had my life become? I had lost the only friends I had, the guy who I really liked, I was seventeen and a druggie, I had shit grades and my mother hated me. Was there a point to my life anymore? Other than my blade…


	6. Apoligies

**Gerard's p.o.v**

It didn't take me long to get to Frank's house. It's obvious how I knew where he lived so I didn't have to follow him closely. Soon enough I was on his roof above his bedroom, listening to his head. I couldn't help at cry when he spoke of how much he hated himself. He really couldn't see what I could, could he? Suddenly something changed in his mind as he got an idea. He had moved from his bed and was going to do something. I was panicked and thinking quickly. I knew whatever it was wouldn't be good.

"Oh no, no, no, no, NO!" I muttered to myself when I realised what he was going to do. I knew the blade would already be in his hands, him pulling up his sleeve… Positioning himself…

I pulled out my phone and typed as quickly as I could.

_Hey Frank! So sorry bout in the park please forgive me cuz I really like you and want to keep being friend. :) G xox_

He had given me his number in the park and he had mine. I put send and was shaking with fear. I couldn't let him do this to himself. God dammit he was too beautiful for this!

I listen for his thoughts but suddenly couldn't hear anything. Now I was really freaked out. Will I have to go down there? I jumped as my phone vibrated and I snapped it open quickly.

_Hey Gee. It's cool sorry for being such an asshole as well. But like friends again? F xox_

Finally my heart returned to a normal pace.

_Defo. Wanna come back and go get some coffee? G xox_

I could also hear his thoughts again. He had marked three more lines on his left arm. So I guess when he does that I can't hear his thoughts. That's not very good…

_Sure meet at the park ASAP? F xox_

_I'll be there. :) G xxox_

I sat and waited until I had seen Frank leave his house safely. And sure enough when he did he headed back towards the park. When he had turned the corner at the end of his street I started jumping from roof to roof. I had practiced this a lot and so I would be there before him.

**Franks p.o.v**

I began cutting to release my pain when my phone went off on the bed. I had only done three cuts but I went and checked it. It was a text from Gerard. He did care. He apologised to me and I knew right now I didn't need that blade. I responded also apologising and he asked if I wanted to get coffee and so I told him to meet me at the park, made myself look reasonably presentable and left my house.

I made it to the park soon and saw Gerard under the same tree we were under together a couple of hours ago. The whole walk here I couldn't stop thinking of how I had called him Gee and how at the end of all our messages there was a 'xox'. He started it but I guess some people are like that. _It's nothing special for you Frank_. Oh great now I'm talking to myself. I rolled my eyes and looked at Gerard. I still hadn't entered the park because I was thinking. And once again my thoughts turned in to something along the lines of how hot Gee was. _He's straight Frank_. But from here it looked as if he had been crying. I felt my heart pang at the thought of Gerard crying so I walked in the park. Hang on should I keep calling him Gee and act casual about it? It was more like a pet name for when you're in a couple.

"Hey Gee!" He turned and smiled when he saw me. Jumping to his feet, he quickly dragged me in to a warm tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Frank."

"Hey it's ok." I felt him begin to cry on my shoulder so I wrapped my arms around his waist. I didn't really mean to but because of my height it was hard not to. Plus it felt really good holding him like this and I was really liking it. I could get used to holding him in this way… But when my arms were wrapped around him he breathed in quickly as if in shock. I tensed up ready for him to move away disgusted. But he didn't. He relaxed again and moved one arm further down my back and the other in to my hair. I nuzzled my face in to the crook of his neck and breathed in deeply. He smelled amazing.

He moved his head back to look at me and I did the same. I looked deeply in to his gorgeous green eyes. They were liked mine but they glowed more vibrantly. It felt as if the distances between our faces were closing in together. But no. _He's NOT gay_! It must have just been me moving my face closer. Wanting it so bad, too bad.

"So, uh, where'd you want to go to get coffee?" I whispered. Breathing heavily as my heart pounded. Our breath mingled together in the space between our faces. Every part of me was screaming at me to kiss him.

"Don't know. Can't remember many places round here." His voice became a lot deeper when he whispered and it was amazing. I mentally added it to the list of my favourite things about Gerard.

"Well let me take you to one of my favourites." I said grinning. We were still holding each other tightly, with very little space between our bodies. He grinned back at me and so I took his hand and led him out of the park.

**Gerard's p.o.v**

He wouldn't even mentally deny he had a crush on me now. I had heard him screaming at himself to kiss me and to be honest I was doing the same to myself. I don't know why I didn't. I think because I feel it's not fair on Frank. He's constantly debating with himself and his emotions are a lot more messed up than mine. I think I'll wait until he makes the first move or I can hear that he's sure about it. When he took my hand my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. We walked hand in hand together to the gate until Frank dropped my hand to jump the fence.

"RACE YA!" He called after me as he started running down the road. I laughed quietly to myself. I knew I'd have to jog as my jog is as much as a humans run. I had soon caught up to him and he was out of breath.

"You ok there?" I asked breathing perfectly normal.

"No…..Way...Oh my god..." He was panting heavily. "Ok... So it's like, round the corner now." He started strolling away beginning to control his breathing better.

We walked together in to the little coffee shop he had dragged us in to.

"So what do you want frank?" I asked walking in to the Que.

"Oh umm…Surprise me." And he placed his money in my hand and walked to a table near the back in shadows. No way was he paying for his own coffee. I ordered our drinks and walked back and sat beside him.

"Here." I gave him his coffee and money. He looked slightly shocked.

"Gerard you were supposed to use this money for my coffee."

"Nah my treat. I'll just make you pay me back in some other way later on." I sipped at my coffee, relishing the taste as I loved it so much. I knew exactly how he would pay me back in the future. But it would mean him letting me in his house seeing as I didn't have a bedroom… We talked about nothing again until I decided now was a good enough time to tell him so that he knew.


	7. tounge tied and oh so squeamish

**I'm so sorry that I haven't uploaded recently on this or the death note fan fic! Obviously it's been christmas and I've had some computer issues. But got a new laptop so should be uploading at a regular schedule (Wednesdays I think for this story.) But yeah I'm sorry to anyone who was actualy enjoying this. Forgive me and enjoy! HELena_WAYieRO**

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><p><strong>Franks p.o.v<strong>

Whilst I was halfway through telling Gerard some good places in town he quickly changed the topic of conversation.

"Frank can I ask you something personal?"

"Um yeah sure. What is it Gee?" I was nervous.

"Well, umm, like, do you, no. Um,"

"Spit it out."

"Well, oh my god, um like do you like think it's weird?"

"What?"

"Just I mean like why do we always assume people like the opposite sex. Like when friends are getting to know each other as well as say 'What's your favourite colour' why can't it be normal to like also say 'So hey what type of people you in to?' You know?" Wow that was deep and a really good point actually. Hang on, is Gee trying to tell me something?

"Well, uh, malva and men. How about you Gerard?"

"Oh, um, red and black and uh men…"

I was stunned and the expression on my face must've shown it as well. He seemed to go really awkward but my thoughts were now wildly racing. Oh my god this is amazing. I could actually date him now. Oh yes yes yes yes yes! Thinking of all the elaborate scenes of how we could start dating. Wait did that mean the hug in the park meant something? Was both our faces moving? Would we have kissed?! Oh my god I wanted to be with him now so bad. Oh my GAWD! Thank god he couldn't see in my head; I mean my thoughts of him had changed because I actually finally stood a chance.

He began to laugh and I shut my mouth.

"Oh sorry Gee I didn't mean to act that way I was just thinking."

"Oh no it's ok. But I do have to go soon because I got to get to work."

"Oh yeah, course you told me you worked in the comic store right?"

"Yes."

"Well maybe I'll pop in sometime."

"That'd be awesome. Bye."

"See ya." And he left the coffee shop and off to work. I was so happy I didn't even care that night when my mom came stumbling through the door breaking stuff. I didn't even care when she attacked me when coming upstairs after getting in. I was so caught up in this love struck Gerard spell I had fallen in to, that I didn't even care when I was beaten up at school but I did care when they touched Gerard. I would stop them from hurting him and he would protect me too. But eventually we were beat up together. But we were beat up _together_.

**Gerard's p.o.v**

It had been over a week now since I had met Frank and we were best friends but still not dating. I could hear his thoughts and he wouldn't stop thinking of me. When they hit him, he would cry for me in his head. He was happier when we were beat up together and as far as I know, sleeping on his roof and always hanging out with him, he wasn't cutting. It was horrible when I could see Franks mum enter the house drunk. I could hear the screams and breaking and could see what was happening through Franks mind. But somehow in all of it he still thought of me. The only time I wasn't with him was when I went to work. But he did keep his promise and visit quite regularly.

"So how many guys have you ever dated Gee?" We were in the coffee shop that had become our place.

"Uh two-ish. You?"

"None. Done anything with them?"

"Well one was quite a serious relationship so yeah with him but not the other guy. Why, you curious?" I loved teasing him.

"Oh fuck off Gee. Yes." I laughed out loud and got a couple glances but didn't care.

"Yeah whatever. Keep talking Frankie." We teased each other like this regularly but I knew he was being serious. And so was I but we still hadn't admitted ourselves to each other. It was stupid really. But I knew it was up to me as he honestly didn't believe I would like him.

"Hey Gerard?"

"Yeah?" He was being very quiet, I was worried.

"If you're really up for it and you listen closely, we can go to my house if you want…"I was gobsmacked.

"Course what is it you have to say?"

"Look I told you about my mum, well because of her my house is a bit of a state. As in broken glass, vomit, blood alcohol and other stuff that to be honest I can't even identify everywhere and… And that's why you couldn't come before but you really are my best friend, so you know, if you want to." He looked up and looked almost sad.

"Right then let's go." I grabbed his hand and dragged him up and out of the coffee shop. He caught up to me and so I let go of his hand. I didn't even need to go in to his head to know he would be anxious right now.

"Hey look, It'll be ok I won't judge and it'll be fine. Thank you for letting me come over." And I smiled at him confidently and reassuringly. He returned the smile and nodded.

**Franks p.o.v**

We made it to my house without much conversation. I stopped at the end of my path and started hyperventilating. This was a bad idea. I should've never let him even come to the house. If I liked him, showing him this place was a terrible idea. But then again I had warned him and he was cool. He had made it to the door and turned to me smiling.

"Come on Frank. It'll all be ok. we can go straight to your room if thats better or ok?"He held out his hand for me to hold it. I breathed in deeply and stepped towards him and took his hand in mine. When I took out my keys and placed them in to the door lock my hands were shaking.

"It's okay Frank." I looked at him and he smiled and squeezed my hand. I pushed open the door and it looked worse than ever. I became frozen to the spot, appalled that Gerard was viewing this as where I lived. But he just confidently stepped through the door dragging me with him.

"This isn't as bad as you made it seem." I searched his face for sarcasm but he seemed genuine.

"Really?"

"Yeah. So your room?"

"Alright come on."

I dragged him to my room and he dodged most of the stuff on the floor quite well. When we got in my room his eyes seemed to light up as he looked around at my posters. I already knew we liked the same bands and his gaze raced around my room. He stared at Pansy for a while then got to my desk. He ran towards it and grabbed a random CD and paused before pressing it in. I knew he was looking at the blood coloured tissues and probably could see my razor. I felt guilty because he had seen it and was preparing what to say when he questioned me about it. 'I get nose bleeds.' for the tissues. 'It's the pattern.' for the floor. But no way could I explain the blade in any other way. I was anticipating being questioned and clenched my eyes tight. But instead of questions the misfits began blaring out of my speakers.

He sat down on my bed as I opened my eyes.

"I like your room." He said and smiled. I sat beside him on the bed and he turned to look at me. I mirrored his actions and he crooked his head.

"You play it." He tipped his head towards pansy.

"Yeah a little."

"Can I hear?"

"Only if I can see your sketchbook." He sighed and looked down. I could tell he was considering it.

"Alright then." He got up and walked to his bag, pulling the infamous sketchbook out... He jumped back on to the bed and placed it in front of me. I reached out my hand to grab it and he snatched it back.

"You first." He said stubbornly. I sighed and tracked across my room to pansy. I picked her up and experimented with her until I naturally began with a song I had come up with. I played for about 5 minutes until I brought it to an end and looked over to him. His eyes were shut and he seemed peaceful. Pansy was put on the ground and I returned to Gerard who had opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"That was beautiful Frankie."

"Hey, book." I pointed to it and he sighed.

"OK here." He handed it over and I held it gently. It felt extremely important. I turned the pages delicately and was astounded. There were lots of angel based sketches and a few others. They were all at amazing quality. A couple of times I looked up at him and he was biting his nails nervously and staring intently at me with big round eyes. I loved them all and couldn't help smiling. Soon I got to the one I had seen before. He had edited it and it was clear it was of me. I loved it and was touched. A part of me thought it meant it might have a crush on me aswell but I brushed that aside quickly. I reached the end and gently passed the book back.

"How were they? Did you think they were good?" I hugged him tight laughing.

"I love them Gee!"

"Oh my god thank you. And I love your guitar playing you're amazing."

"I particularly liked the one of me by the way." I whispered quietly in his ear and chuckled. We moved apart slowly and it was the same as in the park before. We were getting so close that our breath was merging again.

"Gerard?" FUCK SAKE WHY DID I HAVE TO SPEAK!?

"Yeah Frank?"

"You wanna watch a film."

"Yeah, that'd be cool." I moved back away from him and walked to my DVD's. I picked one I knew Gerard would like and put it on to play. He layed back on my bed and I went and laid beside him. Half an hour in to the film I felt my eyes begin to droop and soon I was deep in sleep.


	8. You never fell in love

**Gerard's p.o.v**

We were lying on his bed together whilst the film played when I turned to look at Frank and saw he was fast asleep. I smiled at how adorable he was and stroked the curl on his fringe. But i wasn't going to stay next to him while he slept. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and I could see in his head that he would be unconscious for a while. I got up and exited his room in to the mess of a house his mum had created.

In half an hour I had fixed his house. Cleaned the walls. Picked up the rubbish. Cleaned the floor and tidied everything. Frank had another hour of sleep so I went out and brought him groceries. I also got him a few treats as well, put them in the fridge and sat on the sofa and turned the T.V to _Kerrang!_ and waited for frank to wake up. I estimated at most he would be ten minutes.

As I predicted he was stumbling out of his room in ten minutes. I heard the confusion in his voice and head.

"What the fuck?" He had muttered to himself but loud enough to be heard. He walked down the stairs. "Gerard?"

"In here Frankie." He walked through the door staring at me questioningly.

"Did you,"

"I did!" I cut him off excitedly. I was very proud with myself and saw Franks face soften.

"Oh my god Gee you didn't have too!" He came towards the sofa and we sat cross-legged facing eachother.

"But I wanted to, for you."He wrapped his arms around my neck in a hug.

"Oh my god, thank you thank you thank you!" I held him closely to me tightly.

"It's nothing Frank honestly."

"I used to do it when I was with Stacey but then I gave up."

"Look Frank, It's okay." I moved back to look at him again and he mimicked me as always. I was going to do it this time. Our faces were moving closer again and my eyes were flickering to his lips. He was doing the same when suddenly.

"Hey Gera-"

"Frank," I placed a finger to his lips and he hushed up. I moved my finger, closed my eyes, and pushed my lips to his. He seemed stunned but didn't hesitate to kiss me back. We were sat quite awkwardly on the sofa so it wasn't a long kiss at first. We broke away because of the positioning and to breath. He rested his forehead against mine.

"Gerard?"

"Yeah Frank?" And he kissed me more passionately than the last time. He moved his body round in to a much more comfortable position, sitting on my lap with his legs wrapped around my waist. I place my hands on his hips and he tangled his fingers through my hair. His tongue licked my bottom lip, begging for entry and I allowed it without hesitation. We had each wanted it for so long we weren't holding back and it was amazing. The electricity that he sparked through my entire body, just, oh my god. Our lips worked together almost in sync and our tongues were wrestling for domination. My hands were moving up and down his sides and our hearts were racing. I was slowly pushed backwards by Frank and soon I was lying back on his sofa with him straddling my hips. Our lips never parted and the atmosphere was intense.

Sadly soon our lips split as we ran out of breath. Frank hung above my face, panting as much as i was. Our eyes met and we smiled and laughed. I moved my head up and pecked him on the lips then sat up pushing him off gently and heading for the kitchen.

"Want any of your treats?"

"Wasn't I just getting one?" I laughed and turned to the kitchen and brought him back the bag of skittles, tube of pringles and galaxy chocolate bar. I walked back in to the living room carrying Franks items. He was lying sprawled out on the sofa with his hand across his forehead and he was breathing slowly. He looked up when he heard me enter and smiled then eyed the things in my hands.

"Gerard! Oh my god thank you!" He squealed running up to me and throwing his arms round my neck and kissing my cheek. He took the gifts and jumped on to the sofa patting the space beside him. I plopped on to the seat and he snuggled up in to my side. I put my arm around him and kissed his head. We found the horror channel and watched till evening. Happy and content.

**Franks p.o.v**

I didn't fall asleep this time I was too hyped. Oh my god. We had made out and my heart was racing. He kept absent mindedly, i assume, stroking my shoulder and it made my insides go crazy. At the second horror film we had eaten most of the stuff Gerard had brought me and was getting pretty tired of the films. I got off the sofa and walked in to the hall. Gerard seemed stunned that I had moved when his arm had been around me. But it didn't take long until I heard him move from the sofa too. I legged it up the stairs as quietly as I could and got in to my room and ran to pansy. I picked her up and and had begun playing when Gerard walked in to my room smiling. I had rehearsed this piece a few times and was quite happy with it so was glad Gee got to hear it. He seemed happy too. When I finished he walked up to me and gently lifted the guitar strap from my head and placed her extremely gently on the ground. I was astonished and loved him more for how gentle he could be with something that wasn't typically viewed as delicate but was important to me.

When he was finished with placing Pansy on the floor he came back up to his usual height and looked deeply in to my eyes. I rested my hands on his shoulders and he lent down. My eyes closed and I lent upwards. Our lips collided and sparks flew throughout my veins. His hands were on my waist again and one of my hands had moved to his chest. He tangled one hand through the hair on the back of my head and snaked his other arm round my back. Pulling me in to him and pressing us tightly together. I pushed myself in to him as much as I could. I just wanted to be close to him, I loved him so much. We would have quick small breathers but not for long as it was hard to keep ourselves away from each other.

After an unknown amount of time, making out we had somehow neared my bed. Gerard fell back on to it pulling me with him laughing. I laid atop of him, nibbling at his neck, gaining an odd moan from Gerard causing me to moan in to his neck. His hands were caressing down my back and up my sides. Sending shivers down my spine.

"Gerard." I moaned in to his neck.

"Frank." He responded.

"What time is it?"

"What?" He sat slightly up and I moved back, sitting on his lap.

"My mom comes home at around 1 am I want to know how long it is roughly till she's here so You won't be visible when she comes."

"Oh, ok hang on babe." He pushed past me and to my desk for his phone. "Uh, eleven. Is that ok?"

"Yeah we'll be fine. Now come here." I gave my best attempt at seductive and it seemed to work well enough as he ran and jumped me back on to the bed. It was his turn to tackle me and the skill he clearly had was astounding.

We rolled around for quite a while taking it in turns to be on top of the other. Each earning moans from the other. Gerard was amazing. He hit all my pleasure spots, not just with his mouth but his fingers on my sides. My back would arch in thrill and he loved it as much as me. I felt like I didn't reach his standard when it was my go but I tried not to focus on that and tried to enjoy myself. I had wanted to do this with him for so long and right now his body is as much mine as mine is his. It felt as though I could hear Gerard speaking in my head.

_You're doing great Frank. Oh my god Frank it's amazing. Keep going. I really love you._

I figured it was just in my head but it was all I needed for my confidence

After about an hour I got up and decided to get a drink. I told Gee to wait in my room for fear of my mother but he accepted it and just asked I made him a coffee. When I returned we snuggled up on my bed watching the comedy channel, making out the odd time.

"Gee?"

"Yeah Frankie?"

"Are we.."

"If you want." He cut me off knowing the question.

"Well do you want?" And he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me passionately but gently. When he stopped he smiled and rested his forehead against mine.

"Okay then so you're my boyfriend?" He giggled and pecked me on the lips then wrapped his arm round my shoulders and snuggled back in to me.

"I love you Frank."

"I love you too Gee."


End file.
